


i pick my poison and it's you

by askmeaboutmyoctopustheory



Category: Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Aromantic Asexual Natasha Romanov, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Clint Barton, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Elaborate Excuses for Fight Scenes in Formal Wear, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Multi, Natasha is done, Polyamory, Spy Quartet, Threesome - F/M/M, Undercover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:54:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23291278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/askmeaboutmyoctopustheory/pseuds/askmeaboutmyoctopustheory
Summary: “Professor Plum, do you copy? Miss Scarlet in place.” A familiar voice came over the comms that Stark had fitted into his hearing aids.Clint signed the OK sign behind his back, knowing that someone would probably see it. That was the benefit of having your ex-wife/girlfriend, your boyfriend, and your best friend on mission with you.Nat’s voice came into his ears. “Copy. Ms. White and Sergeant Grey, you will be ready to enter the gala in T-minus 30?”----
Relationships: Clint Barton/Bobbi Morse, James "Bucky" Barnes/Bobbi Morse, James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton/Bobbi Morse
Comments: 15
Kudos: 29





	i pick my poison and it's you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [one_of_those_crushing_scenes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/one_of_those_crushing_scenes/gifts).



> Thank you so much LetsTalkMock on twitter for commissioning me! I had so much fun with these idiots :D

Bucky tapped his fingers against the table angrily. Listening to the conference call in their safehouse was making him more and more antsy to get this whole mission over with. Clint was relaying his current situation from his undercover post and each sentence made him feel farther and farther away from Bucky. It was only when Bobbi grabbed his hand in hers and squeezed the metal digits that Bucky felt grounded again, knowing he would see Clint in just a few days. Natasha looked over at them from across the table grimly. 

“Guys?” Clint’s voice asked over the phone when they had been quiet for too long.

“We’re here doll.” Bucky said. “I’m-” He sighed and rubbed his face with his flesh hand. “I don’t like you bein’ there.”

The others voiced their agreement. 

“I’ve already put in the time, might as well see it through.” Clint said with such ambivalence that they could practically hear his shrug. “Not my fault none of you could be the honeypot this time.”

Bucky grunted noncommittally. “Doesn’t mean the guy ain’ dangerous. This guy’s got serious ties to dirty money.”

“I figured.” Clint agreed.

Bobbi and Natasha exchanged a glance. Of course Clint hadn’t read the mission briefing packet that said as much. 

“He’s got a villain lair that could rival Doom’s.” Clint continued. “Secret rooms and everything.”   
  
“Please just tell me you managed to hack into his computer and get our names on that guest list?” Natasha cut in impatiently. 

“Yeah, yeah the big gala or whatever.” Clint responded. “It’s like you have no faith in my competence.”   
  
“I don’t.” She quipped.   
  
“Love you too Nat.”   
  
“Save it.”   
  
“Fine. Love you birdie, love you Buck.”

“Love you too babe.”

“Ok ok, this call is done.” Natasha cut in, rolling her eyes. “See you this weekend Clint, hopefully.”

Clint smiled and nodded as Mr. Brigham told him about the painting that was in front of them. He was shit at undercover work. All was going according to plan so far. He had spent the last few weeks essentially being a sugar baby for this rich art dude and if everything kept going according to plan, they should be able to wrap this whole mission up. Why do rich people have so many galas? Why is there always something shady going on behind the scenes of the galas? Clint’s mind drifted to all of the galas he had attended undercover that had ended in a firefight.

“Professor Plum, do you copy? Miss Scarlet in place.” A familiar voice came over the comms that Stark had fitted into his hearing aids.

Clint signed the OK sign behind his back, knowing that someone would probably see it. That was the benefit of having your ex-wife/girlfriend, your boyfriend, and your best friend on mission with you. 

Nat’s voice came into his ears. “Copy. Ms. White and Sergeant Grey, you will be ready to enter the gala in T-minus 30?”   
  


“Copy”

  
Clint grinned, luckily at the same time Brigham told some hilarious story about some art piece or another. He flashed the sign for “I love you” behind his back and heard Natasha’s mock retching noise.

“Remind me never to go on mission with you three again.” she grumbled. 

“You’ve said that the past four times. The threat tends to lose its weight after the second time, I thought I taught you better.” Bucky’s voice came into the fray.

“Shush  _ zima.” _

Clint saw out of the corner of his eye when Bucky came in with Bobbi on his arm. They were both holding themselves cautiously in their formal wear. This gala was supposed to be celebrating the unveiling of Brigham’s latest piece in his vast art collection. The only problem was, he was the primary suspect for a massive art heist that had gone on six weeks earlier. The guy had been on SHIELD’s watchlist for a while before that for shady money dealings. If the sheet covering the artwork dropped and behind it was one of the stolen paintings, Natasha had a tranq dart that could take down the Hulk loaded into her rifle. They were to take him alive by any means.

Bucky cut his way through the crowd with his broad shoulders and murder face while Bobbi took stock of all possible escapes and blockages. They made it to the bar and settled against the back wall. 

“I’m gonna estimate like one in every three people in this room are armed.” Bucky muttered into his scotch. 

“Sounds fun.” Bobbi replied with a wink as she sipped her chardonnay. 

“Glad we agree, love.” Bucky said and winked back at her.

Natasha sighed above them on her perch. “You good, Cl- Professor Plum?”

“Yeah I’m good.” Clint’s voice said. “Just slipped away to the bathroom. He should be unveiling the painting at the top of the hour, look alive, people.”

“Dance, Ms. White?” Bucky asked, holding his arm out to Bobbi. 

Dancing was something all spies had in their repertoire. It was oftentimes the best way to get a good grasp on the layout of a room, could be used to get closer to a mark, was an easy way to disappear in a crowd. Bobbi was the exact same height as Bucky in her flat shoes, making them ideal dance partners. 

“I thought you’d never ask, Sergeant Grey.” Bobbi took his arm and let herself be whisked out onto the dance floor where there were a few other pairs of dancers. 

A few dances later, the man that they had been tailing stepped up to a small podium in front of the covered painting.

“My friends!” Brigham exclaimed into the microphone. “I am thrilled by your presence tonight. Many of you know that my-rather indulgent- hobby and passion is collecting art and….” He inhaled deeply and did an honest to god chef’s kiss. “This piece is one I have coveted for a long time.”

A flicker of movement to the side caught Bucky’s eye. A few people had gotten closer to them, but they might be trying to get a better view of the painting. He scanned the crowd quickly and resisted the urge to flicker his eyes up to Nat to make sure they hadn’t been compromised. He couldn’t see Clint on the main floor anywhere.

“Bobs-” He started saying.   
  
“I’d  _ especially _ like to welcome our special friends from SHIELD.” Brigham said at the same time, pulling down the sheet covering the painting.

“Shit” Natasha said above them. “Hawkeye, where are you?”   
  
Her question was answered a moment later when a grappling hook arrow hit the chandelier and Brigham dodged the tranq bullet that Natasha shot. Bucky had already grabbed the guns on his shoulder holsters under his jacket, tearing the left shoulder seam in the process. A few hired hitmen tried to strike at Bobbi but she flipped and kicked at them, ripping her skirt for greater range of motion. Her batons were in her hands in one fluid motion and Clint landed soundly beside her from the chandelier and snuck a kiss onto her mouth. 

“Nice one, babe.” Bucky remarked offhandedly. 

“Thanks” She responded.

“That’s my wife you’re talking to.” Clint quipped as he tossed a magazine of ammo at Bucky and followed up with kissing him too.

“DO YOU MIND WAITING A FEW MINUTES??” Natasha shouted over the static of her widow’s bites taking down three men at once. 

“Sorry” All three responded.

“Just…” Nat gestured to the fight occurring around them. “Someone secure the painting.”

“Right.” Bucky responded. “I got it.”

“I-” Clint started, only to cut himself off by stabbing his arrow into someone's thigh. He looked up to see Bucky lifting the heavy frame and canvas with only his metal arm. “Damn.”

“We done here?” Bobbi asked, flickering her eyes over to the crowd of cowering civilians. “I’m assuming that’s my job?”

“You’re the least socially awkward of all of us.” Nat shrugged and looked at Clint who gave a half shrug.

“Never thought I’d hear that.” Bobbi grumbled. 

Clint felt Natasha walk up beside him as he watched Bucky carry the painting off to a safe room and Bobbi walk up to the civilians.

“You’ve got it bad,  _ yastreb _ ” She jostled him lightly. “I’m happy for you, though.”

“Oh yeah?” Clint jostled her back. “What happened to ‘love is for children’?”

  
  


“I have to put up with you goons is what happened.”

“You love us, don’t lie.” Clint grinned and Natasha just scowled. “C’mon we should start taking damage reports for SHIELD. Although I don't know how much damage repair they’re gonna do for a dirty art thief.” 

Natasha just looked at the pieces of the chandelier that were around them and the smashed podium and burst out laughing. After a few moments Clint joined her, the leftover adrenaline from the mission making them silly.

“Oh man. I do love you Barton, no romo though.”

Clint pumped his fist in a triumphant gesture, almost smacking Bucky in the process as he walked up behind him. Bucky dodged Clint’s flailing and tucked himself under one of the strong arms of his boyfriend with a kiss on the nose. Bobbi nudged her way under his other arm a moment later.

“Have I ever mentioned how nice it is that you two are the same height?” Clint grinned, looking back and forth. 

“Yes, babe.”   
  


“A few times.”   
  
“You’ve told  _ me _ enough times.” Nat grumbled but her smile lessened the effect. “Are we all done here?”

“Yep! God, as much as that guy was a piece of shit, I’m gonna miss the silk sheets.” Clint said as they walked out to the armored car where Bucky had stored the painting. “Is there at least a nice shower in the safehouse?”   
  
“Sure is.” Bobbi grinned. “Big enough for three.”

She and Bucky high fived across Clint’s chest. 

“I am reserving the right to shower first.” Natasha side-eyed them as she unlocked the car. “I’ll let you all sit in the backseat though.”   
  


“Gee thanks mom.” Bucky snarked, sliding into the backseat anyway. “I teach you everything you know, and this is how you treat me?”

“So nice having the family back together.” Bobbi remarked as she leaned against Clint’s shoulder from the middle seat. 

They continued to sass each other back and forth for the entirety of the ride back to the outskirts of the town where the safehouse stood in an unassuming suburb. With their adrenaline wearing off, the quartet languidly moved up the stairs and dumped their mission gear in the meticulously staged kitchen. They moved seamlessly around each other as Bobbi opened the fridge to get a bottle of wine and a beer for herself and Clint, Bucky poured himself and Natasha both a heavy shot of the vodka that she smuggled back every time she went to Russia. 

“ _ Ura”  _ They clinked shot glasses.

Natasha retreated to the bathroom to claim her first shower and left Bobbi, Clint, and Bucky sprawled out onto the couch. Touch-starved after being away from his partners, Clint draped his long limbs over the other two people and the arms of the sofa.

“That’s fine, didn't need any room on here or anything.” Bobbi teased him as she ran her fingers through his hair. 

“I need the two of you more than you need room on the couch.” Clint grumbled, his voice muffled from being buried in her arm. 

“We know, Doll.” Bucky let his hands run up Clint’s legs and come to a rest right on the swell of his ass.

“It’s been a lonely few weeks.” Bobbi kept stroking his hair but dragged her thumb down his jawline too.

“Oh yes, lonely for you two only having each other.” Clint lifted his head and gave them both a mock-grumpy face. “Never mind me, just alone with a weird rich dude.”

“I think you’ll find that we can make it up to you.” 

They kissed above Clint, leaning into each other while still keeping their hands on him. Bucky’s hands pushed Clint’s shirt up to rake his metal digits over the muscular planes of his chest. 

“Shower’s free you heathens!” Natasha called down the hallway.

Three sets of eyes flitted between each other and in a moment, all of them were bolting down the hall towards the bathroom. 

“Oh hell yeah.” Clint said as he saw that the shower was a massive glass cube with a rainfall showerhead. Bobbi walked up and grabbed his face to kiss him hard. “Oh  _ hell _ yeah.”

They were still in their torn clothes from the gala and wasted no time stripping each other and ruining the suits and dress beyond repair. Clint took a moment to take in his view of Bobbi and Bucky under the spray of water and wondered how he had gotten so lucky. His dick then reminded him that he had been undercover for a few weeks and he hurried to join them. 

Bucky kissed him first, followed by Bobbi’s smaller fingers tracing over his lips. Both of them kissed down his neck and Bucky sunk down onto his knees. Clint braced his legs slightly apart to let Bucky settle between them and pulled Bobbi close into his chest. He took her breasts into his hands and rolled one of her nipples in between his thumb and finger at the same time that Bucky licked a stripe up his cock. They ebbed and flowed with each other’s bodies, Clint dipping his fingers into Bobbi’s wet heat, Bucky swallowing around his length, wet lips biting and kissing. 

“Buck-” Clint panted, pulling back and grabbing at Bucky to stand back up. “C’mere.”

Bucky pressed his body against Bobbi’s back, turning her head to kiss her and ground his own erection against her wet backside. He reached around with his metal hand and slid his own fingers inside her beside Clint’s. His other hand came to rub her nipple while Clint insistently kissed her over and over, their teeth bumping.

“You’re both so pretty, goddamn.” Bucky panted out as Bobbi tipped her head back against his shoulder as she convulsed around their fingers. “So good, darlin’.”

She turned around and began jerking him off slowly, letting Clint crowd behind her now. Clint’s cock teased her entrance a few times until she stopped kissing Bucky for a moment to reach behind her and pull him closer. He pushed inside her and rested with his head between her shoulder blades as he was fully seated. 

“I’m not gonna last long.” Clint said sadly.

“Good thing the bed’s big too,” Bucky said cheekily. “We got all night love.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/_AMAMOT) or i’m on [tumblr](https://askmeaboutmyoctopustheory.tumblr.com/) if you want to yell about fics, ships, or commission me :D


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